Regina George.

Hello! Happy 2017. Let’s make it a awesome year.

I want to start off my saying Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies. It came out in millennial perfection timing. It was the anthem for how high school was perceived by so many- instant cult classic! In Mean Girls you have Cady Heron also know as Lindsay Lohan playing the lead lady. Cady, who grew up with super chill parents in Africa as a child, learned to love herself for exactly who she was. She did not compare herself to others, she was kind, really smart, unique, confident and really happy. Until she went to High School. Until she met Regina George. Regina George brought out the absolute worst in Cady and her posse of followers. She made fun of people, was attention hungry, and consumed with social pleasures and body image. Regina got her’s by belittling all those around her. Regina noticed Cady was pretty and could be well liked, she saw her as the way others would see her a great gal. Regina saw Cady as a threat so she took her under her perfectly polished neon bra wearing wing as the new girl in school and played her like a pawn in her evil games.

Regina George, for me is similar to my inner mean girl. She’s a real bitch. She is sneaky and sometimes you don’t even realize she’s ripping you apart, she can play it really slow and subtle. Everything can be going great and next thing I know she’s up for a little sabotage and ambush on my truth and emotions. She makes me feel things I don’t enjoy feeling. She makes me say things I regret saying, things that don’t line up with who I am or what I value. I live life for the most part as a Cady character. I love to laugh, be genuine, friendly, and caring. I am happy and usually pretty positive. But just like the movie, my inner mean girl shows up. Sometimes she criticizes my appearance in a mirror, picking apart my weight, the clothes I am wearing, the way they fit, my skin problems, or hair styles. Sometimes she convinces me that I need to spend my hard earned money on things that I don’t even want or need. Sometimes she shows up when a challenge arises. Convincing me that I don’t need to accomplish my goals. Sometimes she shows up and encourages me to be doing things I don’t want to be doing, and tries to slow my progress. She tries to win a popularity contest and focuses her attention on how others perceive me, taking away my genuine personality. Or alter my lifestyle to compete with others. Some days she can run my inner dialogue incessantly talking, usually leaving mentally and physically down and exhausted.  I would chalk it up to my hormones or just a bad day, or place blame on my job & others instead of my inner mean girl.

I tend to overthink things. Especially when things don’t go according to how I think they should. Instead of being present and flowing, I over react, freak out, and my inner mean girl says things like “I should give up on that” or” you can never change”, or they are a terrible person, or I am awful person. Sometimes word vomit happens, another Mean Girls moment, when things we don’t want to be saying or hurtful things just come out.  I don’t know if this post is relate able, but I am making it my goal DAILY.. to silence this inner mean girl. No I am not able to run her over by a giant yellow school bus, but I can acknowledge it. Call attention to it. Bring it out. Accept it for the ass it  is, but distance myself from letting her rule my life, my mind or my values. Inner mean girls build momentum when you feed into them. They prey on your flaws and areas you are working on and convince you that you are not up for it. Don’t bother bettering yourself. Inner mean girls are our worst critics and they need to be put in check! Imagine if we begin to thrive on our inner “Cady”, complimenting our effort and speaking kindly to ourselves. Start advocating for the women we want to be. I know this is something I want to be working on. It’s not necessarily a resolution, but definitely a huge area of focus to be better in tune with myself, and just be kind, and give myself the grace to achieve and grow. I know being a better human is sort of a joke people say on New Years  but, Hello! It holds so much truth. So I am telling my inner mean girl that “she can’t sit with me” anymore.

On Wednesdays we wear pink. Or whatever the hell we want!

-APril